Conservative Think Tank Angry About Big Business, Uses Comic Sans to Avoid “Communist” Allegations

This is a little old by internet standards, but:

Something no one cares about called the “National Center for Public Policy Research” has something called the “Free Enterprise Project,” both of which can be distinguished by the fact that they are run by a handsome man with a mustache and have names that mean nothing at all.  The Free Enterprise Project recently called for the resignation of the CEO of GE, Jeffery Immelt.

Why? Because he is lobbying to get government money.  According to the press release, because “‘We the people’ have had enough of Obama’s government gone wild spending programs and CEOs such as Immelt that are seeking to profit from taxpayers,” said Deneen Borelli, full-time fellow with the National Center’s Project 21.””

Did you get that?  Its “we the people,” because this is a DEMOCRACY and we deserve to have a SAY in how BUSINESS ARE RUN says the “Free Enterprise Project.”  What?

“When you think of it, Immelt poses more risk to liberty than a progressive Senator. Immelt’s ability to affect public policy has no checks and balances and he is using the vast resources of GE to promote Obama’s agenda. It’s time ‘we the people’ hold Immelt accountable for undermining America’s economic sustainability and our free enterprise system,” added Tom Borelli.

Now, I agree 100% with this.  If corporations are allowed unlimited use of their “vast resources” to promote a political agenda, it is “more risk to liberty than a progressive Senator.”  But the problem is that The National Center for Public Policy Research basically signed away any right they had to complain about corporations using these “vast resources” to promote a political agenda when they signed this adorable amicus curiae where they said, basically, it is unconstitutional and discriminatory to tell corporations exactly what they’re asking Immelt to do.

Not only is this contradictory, but frankly, assuming that “we the people” have the right to demand anything of a corporation, even when coming from something called the Free Enterprise Project, sounds just a little socialist.  Just a little.  Which I’m fine with, but I wonder why they chose to take this risk right now?  Maybe the petition will help us understand:

Jeffrey Immelt
Chairman of the Board, Chief Executive Officer
General Electric Company
3135 Easton Turnpike
Fairfield, CT 06828

June 22, 2010

Dear Mr. Immelt,

In the new world order of “too big to fail,” the responsibility for holding corporate leaders accountable now resides with “we the people.”  On that basis, I am urging you to resign as Chief Executive Officer and Chairman of General Electric because you have abandoned the tenets of free enterprise to profit from President Obama’s progressive political agenda.

Specifically:

  • You were a leading proponent of President Obama’s $ 787 billion economic stimulus bill, which failed to curb unemployment but added billions of dollars to our crushing national debt.
  • You are a leading advocate of President Obama’s cap-and-trade policy, which will raise the cost of gasoline, electricity, consumer products and export jobs overseas.
  • You allowed the MSNBC cable TV network to repeatedly hurl demeaning insults, often of a racial or sexual nature, at patriotic Americans who are peacefully challenging President Obama’s big-government policies.

Your work is a risk to the founding American values of liberty and free enterprise.  “We the people” urge you to resign.
Sincerely,

The Free Enterprise Project

Oh.  They’re sick of being called white racist teabaggers.  HILARIOUS.

And the grudge against GE is longstanding.  In fact, if you look at the amicus curiae, they inexplicably say

“Contrary to Austin and McConnell, freedom of the press belongs not just to corporations like General
Electric, but rather to “the people.””

And I guess they put “the people” in quotes because they’re actually talking about corporations that are not GE.

If you search the phrase “general electric” on their site you get at least 100 hits going back to 1997.  Most of the ones I read seemed pretty angry with the company, except one from 2001, which, based on their claim that PCBs, some of the most poisonous compounds on earth, are not harmful, and that GE should not be held responsible for dumping them in the Hudson River.  I mean, I guess insisting that poor people get slowly poisoned by denying that the poison exists trumps everything.

Wingnut Web – Cheering the Misfortunes of Americans Edition

We haven’t visited Resistnet for a while, let’s see how they are doing! Remember, Resistnet claims to value personal liberty and freedom for all Americans, so when something like this is posted:
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You can bet the responses will be filled with people totally upset that American citizens are fleeing a US state under fear of persecution for their race and being lumped in with a bunch of criminals.

Like this one, the first response from Resistnet National Director Darla Dawald:
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Wait a minute, the National Director is cheerleading American citizens fleeing for their safety???

Luckily the rest of Resistnet couldn’t be so cruel!

Oh, wait…
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All Hispanics are illegal, and swarm like locusts
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Hispanics – 100% Illegal Aliens who sit under trees and force all good White Americans to be recluses.
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Wishing misfortune on parts of America = True Patriotism
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Less Brown, it’s a win WIN!
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We shoot all Brown People in Upstate New York!
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When Resistnet’s South Dakota state director is the Unabomber, I think there is a problem
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Country Music – the Devil’s Playground
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That’s how you patriotically resist – you badly Photoshop pregnant men! George Washington Photoshopped at the Delaware River and singlehandedly won us the Revolutionary War, he did!
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Ronald Reagan – giant communist!
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One Final Word: Zack Morris from Saved By The Bell is a Communist, as is Office Space!
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Elite Billionaires are Pure Communists who are part of the Agenda 21 Plan from the NWO. This is Patriotic Resistance.
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I see Brown People at my nursing home!
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There is a Secret 13th Amendment that says I am King of America, and also the US is a Corporation which is Communist!
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Everyone, write crazy letters to random attorneys! IT IS THE ONLY WAY!
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The Agenda 21 Plan is worse that Communism…it’s Communitarianism!
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Alex Jones videos are known for their truthfulness.
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Bill O’Reilly didn’t read my mom’s letter…thus…CONSPIRACY!!!!
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And with her last post the nursing home cut off internet access…
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Meet me at McDonald’s for Jesus.
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We are down the rabbit hole now, and through the rabbit tunnel, across the rabbit bridge, and taking a rabbit rocket ship to rabbit outer space. Once there, we’ll find out the true meaning of the conspiracies, the awfulness of the UN’s Agenda 21 Plan and the Communitarianism Agenda of the Communist Billionaire Bankers who are all George Soros. But that is next time on Wingnut Web!

Wingnut Web – Resistnet and the two legged bottom feeding scum sucking slugs Edition

In our rush to get Politisink set up and have a variety of information and targets, we have neglected our favorite target, Resistnet.com! That oversight will now be corrected as Resistnet.com gets slammed in our latest Wingnut Web! We got racists, not racists, FEMA camp discussion, Kagan freakouts, Oil Rig Conspiracies, Obama’s gonna murder us all conspiracies, and several posters who don’t seem to be posting in English. Which is odd, as they seem to be against people not speaking English.

Totally not racist!
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Is that the same Robert Robertson who is the militia dude who runs one of the sites having a spat with the WRAM nutballs?
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I just discovered giant companies are evil, and it is somehow the fault of illegal immigrants!
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Let’s blame illegals for this instead of the American-owned slaughter houses doing all the unsafe practices! That sounds like the logic of someone with cysts in the brain.
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No. And Why Are You Capitalizing Every Word In The Sentence?
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When Obama speaks all I hear are Ke$ha songs!
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I’ll just make up some stuff about Mexico to try to fearmonger you into believing me, all while saying it is the other side doing the fearmongering!
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This guy must think that all Mexicans are covered in BP oil spill crud or something
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Let’s take advice from Iran and China! And isn’t it great that the State Director for South Dakota can’t even speak English right?
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This is what happens when you go on the internet while drunk and stupid.
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P Diddy was literally going to kill every black person who didn’t die, and every black person is only days away from African violence-fest 2010. but not racist! The movie this moron is talking about is famous 1966 exploitation “documentary” Africa Addio, which is as racist as you would expect.
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FEMA camps and World War 11 (which wasn’t as cool as World War 10)
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1LT Overthrow The President!
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The terrible secret is most progressives had never heard of Alinsky, Cloward, or Piven until Beck and his buddies wouldn’t shut up about them. And while the Alinksy book is a good read, they serve a far greater function as invisible boogeymen to scare the Right (along with SOROS!!!)
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Al Sharpton – Devil Preacher
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Illegals are now going to be like a swarm of locust and move from state to state devouring state budgets. But not racist!
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How dare they allow people the right to vote! Especially….Brown Americans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Garry Newby does a good summary here of all the blatant lies conservatives actually believe about Barack Obama. Except he actually believes all of them, probably because his brain fell out in the late 1980s. I also enjoy the 56 Meg .WAV file attached to this post for no reason!
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Illegals have murdered more Americans than there are Americans! My house is the entire country which is why I shoot everyone illegal I see. Or even those that look slightly illegal (brown) or got a tan at the beach!
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By “AMERICAN CITIZENS” she means teabaggers, because everyone else doesn’t count!
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Making Puerto Rico a state PROVES Barack Obama was born in Kenya! Trust me, I’m a Marvel comics character!
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Commies caused the drill spill! Not my precious giant multinational corporations, who love me!
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It’s the pot calling the orange tree black!
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The cracks were made by Godzilla!
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They are saying….THAT I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE SPILL…and just make up my own FEAR MONGERING!
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The Communist Muslims are behind everything that happens ever as part of a secret plot to make Obama look inadequate with a lame response to the spill, to have the NY bomber caught with no problems, and to make a mine owner who fails dozens of safety checks to look bad.
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We must be willing to destroy ourselves to ensure that rich people get more money! Come on, patriots, ruin you life! Do it! USA! USA! USA!!
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Obama’s gonna kill us all!
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When will people learn that I just made up the definition of terms and thus invalidated Obama all by myself? Take that, Obama!
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I agree you are pathetic. You’ll be even more pathetic in 2012, and it will be awesome.
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Disappointed 69% of America isn’t crazy!
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More like the Phoenix Coats!
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Look out, MLB, some bald guy is writing about you on the internet!
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The Major League Baseball Players Association Union – the most dangerous threat to America today!
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What are Hillary Swank, Michelle Malkin, and Nancy Kerrigan going to do to Mom?
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Wickipedia is the official Wiki of the Wicked Musical
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Obama will murder all athletes because they are against the AZ law…huh??
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Let’s ignore the fact we called ourselves teabaggers first until we found out what it meant!
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Hey, look, someone calling themselves Teabaggers in this very thread!
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dan taylor is too busy huffing paint to be bothered to type in English or even hit the Shift key.
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Wait, Mexico is communist now?
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White people are so oppressed! Not racist
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And now for Resistnet Chat Theater! Today on Resistnet Chat Theater, Resistnet discusses slugs!
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Donald Plumb – not a scientist or engineer, but an avid guy who makes crap up he knows nothing about!
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Where is Kagan’s birth certificate?
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Anyone brown = illegals to SD State Director JEFF
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If we clone them, we’ll outbreed those illegals!
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Gordon wins the Politisink Award for WTF Are You Talking About? for this Wingnut Web entry!
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Gordon has Gay Marriage Tourettes, causing him to have loud outbursts about gay marriage when the subject has nothing to do with gay marriage.
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Trust us, we got more! If Resistnet was to go offline today, we’d have enough Wingnut Web updates to make it through the next three months. But Resistnet won’t be going away, there is too much money to make off of poor suckers who think they are “patriots”! So until next time, Remember the Knights Templar!

Frank, Fiddy, and The FOX Nation

Oh boy, if you thought a four day Memorial Day weekend was a nice present to receive on a Friday then you probably aren’t as cynical as I am since I was browsing The FOX Nation today and found, not one, but TWO horrible, stereotypical, and bigoted stories that the usual Einsteins over at that last bastion of ‘Fair and Balanced’ opinion decided to pick up on. And even better, one story is about every Conservative’s favorite Congressman from Massachusetts (who just happens to be gay) and the other concerns every Conservative’s favorite Vitamin Water spokesperson and bad-ass rap star (who just happens to be black). Try guessing what the common thread is in the comments on both posts (hint: it’s a disease that only homosexuals and black people can get apparently!).

The first FOX Nation post concerned Rep. Barney Frank making a hilariously off-hand statement about newly elected Hawaiian Rep. Charles Djou. Since apparently Hawaii is the bottleneck through which every Kenyan-born illegal Communist alien pours through and infects this country with their disgusting foreignness Frank suggested that perhaps the press should be putting a little bit of effort into tracking down Djou’s birth certificate, cause, ya know, he could be an EVIL USURPER! The FOX Nation was not amused:

Karen Rogers lays down out her diagnosis for Barney Frank, “useing your appendage for the correct, opposite sex body part”. Get that man 500cc of vagina STAT!

HE HE HO HO!!!!! indeed!

Honey, you haven’t needed a license to operate a dress and fake boobs in Boston since the 1970s.

Wait that whole rent boy thing was being run out of Barney Frank’s house?

GROSS!

Batnam has a preoccupation with Frank’s “disgusting POL”

It’s not like the man’s been in Congress since the 1980s or anything.

Damn I need to move to Mass. it sounds like Barney throws some of the best parties in town.

Your comment must have been PRETTY RIDICULOUS if The FOX Nation found it necessary to moderate it! Not like they do a good job of doing that anyway (that’s why Politisink is here).

Our next story focuses on the star of ’50 Cent: Blood on the Sand’, semi-successful rap artist, and wildly successful beverage salesman 50 Cent! Fiddy has been flying under the radar recently working on his budding film career. For his latest role in the movie “Things Fall Apart”, 50 Cent will be playing a football player who is diagnosed with cancer. Because Hollywood special effects have not yet come to the point where we can digitally retouch actor’s faces and appearance, Fiddy lost a shocking amount of weight to properly portray his character in the film:

OMG he’s like REALLY sickly looking! Does he have like cancer or AIDS or did he get a Ballerectomy or something? Can the people at The FOX Nation even bother to read the two sentence excerpt from the three sentence post on 50 Cent’s website? The answer to every question you have is “Nope!”:

Everyone was keen on the money puns for this story (since black people shouldn’t be allowed to have money ROFLMAOLOL!)

You know AIDS is transmitted by pork chops, right?

50 Cent does porno? What industry HASN’T this man curb-stomped every last dollar out of?

DADT?

President Bush PERSONALLY gave 50 Cent AIDS. You heard it here first.

Pot calling the kettle black? Black people smoke pot. Smoke is what happens when there’s a fire. Fire is primarily orange and red. Mao’s Communist manifesto is bound in a red cov– OH MY FUCKING GOD 50 CENT IS A COMMUNIST! Go read a book!

Why can’t it be all 3?

See you thought I was kidding about the puns!

And there you have it readers. The FOX Nation: still a horrible cesspool of stay-at-home moms and unemployed NASCAR fans with exactly no comment moderation whatsoever and enough brain power between the 300 or so comments on each story to come up with the same tired gay jokes and AIDS puns we read on in their comments last week.

EDIT: Made a slight correction, thanks for the note TC (I for one blame all the gold I’ve been stockpiling).

Wingnut Web – Facebook YourOpenBook Edition

Facebook’s privacy policy is the stuff of legends. Bad legends. Usually with monsters and stuff. Probably elves, and maybe even a goblin. And thanks to YourOpenBook.org, you can browse what people say on Facebook who haven’t bothered to set their privacy settings to private! You can find out all sorts of personal stuff, even phone numbers of some people. You also get to find out that certain people are crazy racists. And that is where Wingnut Web comes in!

Do you kiss your kid with those lips, Phil Wilson? I guess you do!
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Krystal Steiner’s comedian criticism takes a nasty turn…while Adam Cathers knows the conspiracy goes: Motels…7-11s…Miss USA!
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Brian Drake should write for an alternate universe Jay Leno who is unfunny. Basically, this universe’s Jay Leno.
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Michael Donihe seems like a pretty level-headed guy
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$10 says all Rose Aycock (what an unfortunate last name!) knows about India is that they fix her computer
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Christine Estep – Jewish Confederate Treason in Defense of Slavery Patriot!
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Katherine Mele is an expert of using words that she has no idea of what they mean
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Robin Hogston Hawkins of Politically Incorrect Ning Site.com!
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Get work not jobs the Barbara Welch way!
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Sara Perz just likes Palin because they have the same First name and initials.
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Okay, I’m losing track of the 50ish ladies with grey hair screaming things about socialism they don’t understand…
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Chase Lewis, Skinhead Mall Cop! Rated R
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On meth?
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If you stare in the eyes too long, the crazy will devour your soul
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The comedy patrol is out in force today!
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The KKKomedy patrol is also out in force today!
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I will bet dollars to donuts Ralph Chambers’s wife also has a Facebook page where she is screaming about Socialism Marxism Nazism Obamunism!
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Greg Gatzke – 100 years a loser
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The deadliest catch is the Census Catch-22.
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Yeah, Obama! Why don’t you stop the thousands of people from dying…wait, no one is dying except the 11 guys who died in the original explosion? Obongo strikes again!
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Time to wash your mouth out with soap, young lady!
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I’m not even going to touch this picture/status update…
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Yeah! Democrats are going to lose! WOOOOOOO!!!!
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Yeah! Democrats lost to better Democrats! WOOOOOO!!!! Wait a minute!
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Hey, Mark Coburn, way to break the law with this status update!
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The weird thing is, she’s talking about airline peanuts!
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does n e 1 know where my shift key is?
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Maybe you suck at your job?
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You cannot resist the ultimate power of…my bow tie!
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Quick! No one tell Julie Jensen-Finch that you already are supposed to report garage sale income on your taxes! That way, she’ll get audited!
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Considering it is so easy to use YourOpenBook.org, I am sure we’ll be revisiting this real soon.

D.C. Douglas strikes back!

From the brave man who brought you The Teabagger Boogie: Dick Armey’s Army of Dicks and of course the voice of the GEICO guy brings you a second heaping helping of astroturfed Tea Party tidings (sponsored by FreedomWorks) in the form of a brand new PSA! The video features a couple of people who don’t look like me or talk like me (so naturally I assume I’ll need to see their papers):

The dangers of drinking and operating a telephone handset, don’t do it (unless you value your career enough to never speak up about anything in the public sphere ever, the teabaggers are always watching). And bravo for using so many clearly hypocritical and delightfully self-serving statements from “brown journalism” sites like BigGovernment and FOX News, complete with footnotes and direct quotes.

D.C. Douglas should continue to push the campaign into the far reaches of the Tea Party universe; there are just so many entertaining possibilities for bits like this. Are those anti-tea bag campaign ads I smell? A line of D.C Douglas talking pull-string action figures that sound off on Wingnuts? Perhaps even a ‘Bosum Buddies’ type sitcom featuring two lovable goofs who decide to get jobs at FreedomWorks, infiltrating the nefarious organization by donning expensive suits, cowboy hats, and “Drill, baby, drill” bumper stickers? The possibilities are limitless.

D.C. Douglas, we want to work with YOU to make all these ideas and more a reality.

Wingnut Web – FreeRepublic JINO Court Race War Edition

Pat Buchanan unleashed a racist screed about there being too many Jews on the Supreme Court. Then FreeRepublic.com stated their comments! Let’s listen in…
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Government Workers are the Real Racists!
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The difference between liberals and conservatives is conservatives see nothing wrong with declaring racial superiority, but liberals are the Real Racists!
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Pat Buchanan is a liberal sent by the liberal media to bamboozle Real Conservatives!
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I and my username/avatar combo that is the founder of the KKK vow to continue the Race War in the courts. Also, liberals are the Real Racists!
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We need more of the Good Ones!
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JINO, the heartwarming story of a pregnant high school girl who is nominated to the Supreme Court and blocked by conservatives for being “too lesbian”
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FreeRepublic.com will be back in Liberals are the Real Racists 2: Through the Portal of Time!

Wingnut Web and the Husband Who Invented Everything

Boy, Resistnet.com sure attracts the smartest people in the universe. Just check out what the “grassroots” organization’s typical member is capable of, and you will realized us liberals are doomed. DOOMED!!!

Yep, a 190 IQ, self-taught quantum physics, and universities pay him to build stuff for them.
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FYI, to have a 190 IQ is so rare it is literally about 1/1,000,000,000. Yes, that is 1 in a billion.

But wait!

Helene and her husband have the power to convince anyone anything political because of magnets, and they REFUSE to work for IBM! Refuse!
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Her husband invented everything ever
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Her husband invented oxygen. Her husband invented Robocop. Her husband is the Chuck Norris of inventors.

He also invented it all for free!
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Her husband knows your name and address. Her husband travels around the country and punches readers of TarsTarkas.NET in the nose. In fact, her husband is outside my door right now..
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All geniuses talk to ghosts. Einstein wouldn’t stop talking to Napoleon.
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Mary Patterson also has a 190 IQ husband who knows everything!
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Also, when the Chinese broke into his computer he called NASA to warn them, because the Chinese would really target some random guy and NASA would really care that they did.

As you can see, this level of unstoppable supergenius cannot be countered by us Liberals, so we might as well give up now. This stuff is all true, and there is no way that the only thing invented was the lies her husband told her.

The Teabagger Boogie

From the man who brought you the GEICO Insurance ad announcer voice, who was recently fired from his job for having an opinion on something ridiculous, brings you another Tea Bag-tacular event you won’t want to miss, The Teabagger Boogie (Dick Armey’s Army of Dicks):

This DC Douglas guy is awesome, his new full time job should be being the slick and sane voice of reason on a series of videos that hold the Tea Parties’ feet to the candle and, in particular the people at FreedomWorks and their “community organizers”, make them accountable for the retarded mess they’ve created in this country.