Tag Archives: email forwards

Put Me in Charge… – Email Forwards of the Dammned

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Put me in charge . . .

Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of food stamp cards; no cash for
Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans,
blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want
steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is to get women
Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test
recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and
piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get
tats and piercings, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks?
You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your
“home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be
inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your
own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or
you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of
trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We
will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo
and speakers and put that money toward the “common good..”

Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of
the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before
you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin their “self esteem,”
consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for
doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least
attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system
rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

AND While you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes that is
correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will
voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov’t
welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.

What would YOU do if You were in charge?

—Multiple Choice Quiz: A to Z —

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—Multiple Choice Quiz: A to Z —

Liberals / progressives / socialists / marxists / communists ( synonyms: the
agenda is the same no matter what they choose to call themselves )
are: ( pick one)

A. people who may be victims of an ivy league brain laundry.
B. self appointed elites who know better than the rest of us who are too dumb
to choose for ourselves.
C. people who have the talent to ignore facts that they don’t like.
D. people who believe “free speech” is the right so say only what they
agree with.
E. logicians who believe true is false and vice versa.
F. people who believe that charity is donating other peoples money.
G. people who like to make rules for other people to obey.
H. people who believe that taxes are for others to pay.
I. people who afraid that others with guns may shoot them.
J. people who think that we have the best government that money can buy.
K. brats who never grew up due to lack of spankings.
L. people who want atheism to be the national religion.
M. people who believe that Islam is a peaceful religion.
N. people who think that Muslims are good since they hate the U.S. too.
O. people who believe the U.S.Constitution doesn’t apply to them, except when
convenient.
P. those that believe in global warming even when standing up to their ears
in snowdrifts, but still fly in their private jets.
Q. believers in buying chinese made windmills saving American jobs.
R. people who think that buying oil from Venezuela and Arabia is better
than drilling for our own oil.
S. believers in printing more money to spend will solve our problems.
T. people who think that borrowing money for our children and grandchildren
to repay is not a form of identity theft.
U. people who believe that all criminals must be conservatives or Tea Partiers.
V. those who think that fermenting our food supply to create auto fuel is a
good idea.
W. the ones that believe murderers like Mao and Che are heroes.
X. those that think that unemployment insurance is a job stimulus.
Y. people who think that government bureaucrats deserve twice the pay of
the average American worker.
Z. ALL OF THE ABOVE.

Feel free to add to the list of choices.

If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.

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Well, it looks like a Federal Judge put the smack down on Arizona’s fancy new Immigration law, thus the wingnuts have gone loco on the internet. One fun thing is the return of this lovely email forward, which has mutated slightly since the last time I saw it. Sort of like the flu!

If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.
If you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely.
If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.
If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed.
If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again.
If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.
If you cross the Mexican borders illegally you will jailed for two years.
If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.

If you cross the United States border illegally you get:
1 – A job
2 – A driver’s license
3 – A Social Security card
4 – Welfare
5 – Food stamps
6 – Credit cards
7 – Subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house
8 – Free education
9 – Free health care
10 – A lobbyist in Washington
11 – Billions of dollars in public documents printed in your language
12 – Millions of servicemen and women who are willing to – and do – die
for your right to the ways and means of our @#$%—-ution
13 – And the right to carry the flag of your country – the one you walked
out on – while you call America racist and protest that you don’t get
enough respect.

My favorite part is how this version somehow can’t bring itself to type out Constitution and instead goes with @#$%—-ution. What the frak is that?
Oh, and you don’t get those things in America for being illegal.

Now, the lovely subtext of this email forward is that the author seems to think that all the so called “evil” countries doing horrible things to people is something to admire. So let’s be more like North Korea, America!