Amazingly, I have some free time, so here is an actual article! You all know Jesus, right? Son of god, died for our sins, loves everyone, misused by conservatives to justify killing anyone they don’t like. Did you know Jesus somehow has something to do with Helen Thomas and The Stand? Because that’s what Sonny Craig, noted guy who writes dumb stuff, has to say.
We’ll start with this picture and caption:
Helen Thomas, the face of modern Liberalism
Sonny Craig’s starting attack is to go after the looks of an 89 year old woman, much like Jesus attacked old women for not looking hot.
If Jesus lived today, he’d be crucified again
Oh, snap! Hey, wait, isn’t it a good thing that Jesus got crucified??
The latest incident in Gaza, involving the Israeli seizure of a Palestinian “aid” vessel, and Helen Thomas’ pathological revelation of the deep hatred Liberals have for the Jewish state, shows that if Jesus Christ lived today, he’d be crucified again
So an old lady saying stuff and Israel shooting up an aid ship proves that Sonny can just repeat sentences.
The modern world would not tolerate a racist like Jesus Christ. If given a choice, the Mob would cry out for a terrorist and murderer like Barabas to live and have Liberty, while the fanatical religious bigot Jesus and His band of conservative Jews and Christians, must die. All of this would be done in the name of Social Justice, of course.
Ah, Social Justice, which we know is evil because it is almost Socialism. Why is Liberty capitalized?
Go back to Germany and Poland? You mean where Dachau and Buchenwald, and Auschwitz-Birkenau are, Helen? That Germany and Poland?
Yes, those still-operating camps. Maybe we should get around to defeating Hitler. What, isn’t this 1943?
The global hatred of Jews by the growing Liberal Terror in the world portends that very idea. In the 60 years since a Holocaust nearly destroyed worldwide Jewry, and was in my view indistinguishable from a Biblical Tribulation scenario (how could it get worse?), are we forgetting that we said we would “Never Forget?”
I forgot to forget.
Let’s face it, in today’s world, Jesus would be crucified again, and that right quickly.
Let me repeat my point yet again because it is my central thesis and it’s not like I’m giving real facts but just random crap.
Jesus didn’t say He knew the truth, or that He could lead the way to finding the truth, He said He was the Truth. (John 14:7). A more exclusivist version of religion I can’t imagine than that. Basically He was saying, “all six billion of you are wrong, and I’m Right.” Liberals today would plug their ears, screaming and rushing to throw him over a cliff with that one.
Liberals have never encountered someone saying they are right before! Our Achilles’s heel! BTW, who were the six billion people Jesus was talking about, as there was only like 200 million people then? I am guessing Jesus was also addressing dolphins, whales, and tigers.
Jesus called the Gentiles dogs (like saying the n-word today
It’s okay, Jesus was Black.
He said Israel came first in line for salvation and that the Gentile dogs were not worthy to even sit at the same table as their Masters, the Jews. (Mt. 15:21-31)
Wow, Jesus sounds like a jerk!
Jesus called sick people, like lepers, unclean.
So we should all shun lepers, AIDS victims, and even people with allergies!
Jesus called people all kinds of judgmental names like hypocrite, white washed tombs, dead men’s bones, snakes and vipers (well, John the Baptist used that one, but I’m sure Jesus was nearby maniacally nodding His approval).
Jesus: maniacal nodder!
Jesus said they could raze the Temple to the ground, and He’d raise a new Kingdom on top of the ruins in just three days, a clear Tea Party-ish threat to the ruling power that would have driven Janet Napolitano to issue a report on why Jesus should be on a government watch list, and Obama to run and bow to some Muslim leader somewhere in the world apologizing for American-Christian-Jewish arrogance.
The problem with Sonny’s piece is the logic moves at the speed of crazy. but i think he just told us to burn down the White House in the name of Jesus, which means it is tips.fbi.gov time again!
Jesus said (through His apocalyptic secretary John the Revelator) that He would return one day as a cosmic-divine Messianic warrior riding on a white horse, and slay all the unbelievers in the world with a sword protruding from His mouth.
How much you want to bet Sonny gets a tingling feeling in his thighs when he reads these passages from Revelations?
In other words, Jesus was a racist bloodthirsty war-mongering exclusivist, and deserved to be crucified (gassed, shot, imprisoned, starved to death, marginalized, and burned in an oven would be the modern equivalent). He would not be welcome in our world, and would not represent Social Justice.
Marginalized?
Like the Pharisees of His time, in league with the Roman oppressor, they would call Jesus Beelzebub (Satan, see Mt. 12:22-37) for His political and religious views, even if He did heal the lame and the blind and the demon-possessed miraculously.
Yes, let’s see who everyone is calling biblical names right now…
Have you ever been called Satan, before?
Every night!
I have (by a Christian pastor no less), and it‘s quite liberating. It convinces you that there is nothing wrong with God or yourself (if you happen to be one of the Few, the Proud, the Prophets), but something fundamentally wrong with the modern reprobate human mind that can reverse everything and call good evil, and evil, good.
Someone calling me names just proves I am right! Black is white, round is square, dogs and cats, living together…
H.G. Wells, the author of War of the Worlds, was an infamous adherent of Fascism and Progressivism. Visions of aliens descending and harvesting the earth were metaphors for Nazi-type eugenics programs as New World forces cleaning up the rabble of humanity in order to lead us out of the darkness of the Old World.
Wow, H.G. Wells is amazing describing the Nazis way back in 1898!
In The Time Machine, the Morlocks were the hybrid Jewish-Christian-Capitalist monsters of the underworld who cannibalized the rest of enlightened humanity on the sunlit surface, the peaceful people of the future who lived in communal harmony with nature.
I don’t remember the Morlocks saying what religion they were. I am surprised Sonny didn’t lump Islam in there as well.
Modern Liberalism and Progressivism (Marxism rebranded) are quickly turning the world around us into “enlightened Nazis.” And they have plenty of help in the form of radical Islam and Palestinian terrorists whose tactics are indistinguishable from Nazi-ism, Stalinism and Marxism
Here comes the Islam, and the lumping of all the -isms together like all uneducated reactionaries do.
For most of the latter half of the 20th century, we believed we had defeated that enemy. Boy were we wrong (well, I wasn’t…..you’ll have to account for yourself). They were just hiding like cockroaches in the wall, reformulating their message to begin their “Great Delusion” false gospel all over again.
Sonny Craig knew Hitler was still alive! He saw it in Castle Wolfenstein! Then Sonny Craig drank too much beer and watched the movie Joe’s Apartment and now thinks singing cockroaches brought Hitler back.
Now, in the first decade of the 21st century, we are seeing the return of the Nazis in such a rapid fashion that the prophets walking about in Times Square carrying signs that say, “The End is Near,” is starting to get too eerily close to the truth to just lightly pass off as the mere ramblings of religious nuts.
And now, to give us the final emotional impact that proves his point:
But that’s not all! There are comments! Commenters who seem to think Sonny Craig is a bit nuts. Luckily, Sonny Craig shows us the true meaning of Christianity in the comments:
Yes, numnuts, love Jesus!
Your Name Here is missing the point…..Part 2 is coming where all his points explain how it is that Liberals reverse everything…..and call good evil and evil good. The question isn’t whether i know Jesus, numnuts….it’s whether you have any reading comprehension skills.
Clearly Helen Thomas is Satan Hitler Stalin Ronald Reagan Godzilla Dracula!
And to God Bless America,
Yes, she’s free to say what she likes…..and what she said was CLEARLY she’d like to see the Jews in OVENS (back in Germany and Poland where they were MASS MURDERED…..you liberals are OUTRAGEOUSLY deluded in what words actually mean and what they SAY…..
Sonny reacts in disbelief when someone says he doesn’t know what he is talking about
Your Name Here:
Just like a Dispensationalist to take everything literally and miss the point entirely……sure, dude, Sonny didn’t know any of that theology he just spent an article writing about….LOL! What a moron…..
Sonny’s final shot:
People see what they want to see…
1) saying that the Jews should go back to Germany and Poland is the same as saying they should go crawl back to Auschwitz…..anyone who says otherwise is a MORON
2) The guy who says my article is not “biblical” is twice the Moron, because he missed the point altogether so nothing he has said to this point is even relevant….but that’s how that Dispy was taught to interpret the Bible, so he interprets the news the same way, LOL
Drop the N-bomb and call people numnuts! It’s the Jesus way!
