Caleb Howe is a cancer.

We’ve all met that guy. Maybe he went to your high school, sat next to you on an airplane that one time, has a nationally syndicated talk-radio and television show, or even attended one of those Tea Party protest and ended spouting off with his misspelled protest sign while someone interviewed him for a video you saw on YouTube. This type of individual is what I like to refer to as the “taint hair” of society.

“Taint hairs” serve no purpose in life but to irritate and annoy the whole of society. Their shit-eating grin of an attitude and toxic personalities, while giving the individual mysterious origins (probably the product of sexual abuse, universal rejection throughout their existance, or the deep-seeded idea that their lives are worthless unless they’re making other people miserable), make their infected rash of “character” stand out like the sore polyp on the asshole of the country. Caleb Howe is exactly this kind of asshole infection.

That episode of South Park, the clip in particular, put perfectly into words that attitude of why you can let guys like Caleb Howe or Eric Cartman, kids of a similar mind who believe they can never be taken down a notch since they’re always willing to shamelessly up the ante with their words (no matter how awful or retarded those words make them sound) when there’s no real or immediate perceived threat to them (it’s the internet after all!). The more defenseless, disabled, or weak the target is the better for them. People like that will not let up with their demeanor, no matter what’s said to them or who calls them out on their clear and universally repugnant behavior. What’s left to do when you’ve exhausted every other ration option you know of to satisfy their hunger for attention? You can’t just give up or forget about the problem and hope things will get better.

Instead physical action needs to be taken against them, to have them be beaten into a pulp, to be physically incapacitated, to be destroyed in order to understand that what they do and say to others in life has actual repercussions in the civilized world, where civilized people with even the remotest bit of compassion will stand against the entirety of everything they take pride in and build their repulsive characters on. How else can a disease change itself unless you put every ounce of effort into eradicating it?

And we’re not talking about a horrible and ruthless condition such as cancer here. Caleb Howe is like polio. He is god-awful scourge on the world, a blight of intelligence and moral character in every sense of the word, but with the right people working against him, attacking every vector of his words and callous opinion, he can eventually be eradicated from the face of the world. People will throw parades, celebrate across the globe, and cheer in unison when a personality like Caleb Howe’s is eliminated from the face of the earth. After all, Caleb Howe and his ilk are the weakest kind of disease, a condition that didn’t even deserve to exist, a condition that can instantaneously be stopped with the proper treatment and right attitude, due to how inherently weak and void of a backbone the core of the virus is.

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RedState blogger mocks Roger Ebert’s lack of USA respect, cancer

Caleb Howe loves to push buttons (it comes with the Conservative wingnut territory I suppose). As a member of the site RedState.com Caleb has his own little chunk of internet to report on whatever he feels like, and we know Caleb is the real deal and not some fly-by-night Tea Bag because he’s been registered on RedState for five years plus now.

Anyhow, on Cinco De Mayo of this year (May 5th for those of you who don’t live in California, Arizona, Texas, or believe in Spanish) five school kids from California, in a pretty clear cut case of trying to start some shit, decided to wear American Flag t-shirts and bandannas to school and boast about their love of nationalism (in true Wingnut fashion). The students were sent home for the day as a result. A high school with a “rich ethnic and socioeconomic diversity”, oppressive immigration laws getting passed in the state next door, instigating and breaking the school’s dress code (by wearing bandannas, flag shirts are not mentioned in the policy) to make a smug point, what was their liberal America-hateing principal thinking anyway?

Roger Ebert had something to say on the topic, specifically on Twitter:

@ebertchicago Kids who wear American Flag t-shirts on 5 May should have to share a lunchroom table with those who wear a hammer and sickle on 4 July.

But like any sane or objective opinion on the internet, the intellectual Mr. Ebert caught some nasty responses for his comment. Despite all of the challenges Mr. Ebert has faced in recent years, especially the removal of his lower jaw due to cancer treatment last month, the famous Chicago Sun-Times writer has continued to remain an eloquent and vocal voice both in print and online (and with a talent like his it’d be a shame to have it any other way).

Responding to his Twitter critics on his Chicago Sun-Times blog, Mr. Ebert pointed out the sensitivities surrounding the US and Cinco De Mayo celebrations while also drawing comparisons to similar instances where one might get curb-stomped for trying to instigate something along the lines of that American Flag shirt flap. This includes, among other examples, wearing symbols of British colonialism (Union Jack) in Boston during the annual St. Patrick’s Day parade, or an even more relevant example, wearing anything related to the NY Yankees ANYWHERE in Boston in the spring (man what’s it with Boston and all the unchecked aggression anyway?).

However Caleb Howe, in his infinite wisdom, felt it was necessary to go even further past Ebert’s well written response and counter it by deconstructing the esteemed film critic’s argument and analyzing some of the fallacies contained in Mr. Ebert’s piece. Mr. Howe did this by making fun of Roger Ebert for having cancer:

Image and inset picture of Caleb Howe courtesy of Gawker.

Way to go, Caleb Howe. Remember when that Tea Party protester threw some Monopoly money at an Alzheimer’s patient who was silently petitioning for Health Care Reform? This is kind of like that. Haters gonna hate!

Gawker has the a full rundown of the shaming details.