Wingnut Web – Israel Massacre Zionist Conspiracy Edition

So Resistnet started a thread about the Israel raid on the Gaza-bound aid ship, which was started by our old friend Dee Admin II. The thread became a giant clusterfrak, and has gone on for pages and pages (41 so far) and the posters are divided into three camps: 1- People who support Israel because that means we get to shoot more dark people/Muslims/terrorists. 2- People who support Israel because that means Jesus will return and kill everyone who isn’t keen on Jesus. 3- People who think there is a giant Zionist Conspiracy and Jews and Rothschilds and the NWO control everything. Naturally, the people in group 3 have a huge fight with the people in groups 1 and 2. If you are wondering if there is any sane discussion, there is only one guy who has an opinion that isn’t dumb. He is quickly attacked by groups 1 and 2 for not blindly supporting Israel.

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Torpedo all boats that even get near the middle east!
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But wait! It is Jewish Conspiracy Time!
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Click on More to read many many many more crazy posts!
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Wingnut Web – Resistnet and the two legged bottom feeding scum sucking slugs Edition

In our rush to get Politisink set up and have a variety of information and targets, we have neglected our favorite target, Resistnet.com! That oversight will now be corrected as Resistnet.com gets slammed in our latest Wingnut Web! We got racists, not racists, FEMA camp discussion, Kagan freakouts, Oil Rig Conspiracies, Obama’s gonna murder us all conspiracies, and several posters who don’t seem to be posting in English. Which is odd, as they seem to be against people not speaking English.

Totally not racist!
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Is that the same Robert Robertson who is the militia dude who runs one of the sites having a spat with the WRAM nutballs?
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I just discovered giant companies are evil, and it is somehow the fault of illegal immigrants!
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Let’s blame illegals for this instead of the American-owned slaughter houses doing all the unsafe practices! That sounds like the logic of someone with cysts in the brain.
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No. And Why Are You Capitalizing Every Word In The Sentence?
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When Obama speaks all I hear are Ke$ha songs!
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I’ll just make up some stuff about Mexico to try to fearmonger you into believing me, all while saying it is the other side doing the fearmongering!
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This guy must think that all Mexicans are covered in BP oil spill crud or something
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Let’s take advice from Iran and China! And isn’t it great that the State Director for South Dakota can’t even speak English right?
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This is what happens when you go on the internet while drunk and stupid.
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P Diddy was literally going to kill every black person who didn’t die, and every black person is only days away from African violence-fest 2010. but not racist! The movie this moron is talking about is famous 1966 exploitation “documentary” Africa Addio, which is as racist as you would expect.
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FEMA camps and World War 11 (which wasn’t as cool as World War 10)
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1LT Overthrow The President!
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The terrible secret is most progressives had never heard of Alinsky, Cloward, or Piven until Beck and his buddies wouldn’t shut up about them. And while the Alinksy book is a good read, they serve a far greater function as invisible boogeymen to scare the Right (along with SOROS!!!)
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Al Sharpton – Devil Preacher
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Illegals are now going to be like a swarm of locust and move from state to state devouring state budgets. But not racist!
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How dare they allow people the right to vote! Especially….Brown Americans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Garry Newby does a good summary here of all the blatant lies conservatives actually believe about Barack Obama. Except he actually believes all of them, probably because his brain fell out in the late 1980s. I also enjoy the 56 Meg .WAV file attached to this post for no reason!
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Illegals have murdered more Americans than there are Americans! My house is the entire country which is why I shoot everyone illegal I see. Or even those that look slightly illegal (brown) or got a tan at the beach!
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By “AMERICAN CITIZENS” she means teabaggers, because everyone else doesn’t count!
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Making Puerto Rico a state PROVES Barack Obama was born in Kenya! Trust me, I’m a Marvel comics character!
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Commies caused the drill spill! Not my precious giant multinational corporations, who love me!
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It’s the pot calling the orange tree black!
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The cracks were made by Godzilla!
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They are saying….THAT I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE SPILL…and just make up my own FEAR MONGERING!
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The Communist Muslims are behind everything that happens ever as part of a secret plot to make Obama look inadequate with a lame response to the spill, to have the NY bomber caught with no problems, and to make a mine owner who fails dozens of safety checks to look bad.
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We must be willing to destroy ourselves to ensure that rich people get more money! Come on, patriots, ruin you life! Do it! USA! USA! USA!!
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Obama’s gonna kill us all!
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When will people learn that I just made up the definition of terms and thus invalidated Obama all by myself? Take that, Obama!
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I agree you are pathetic. You’ll be even more pathetic in 2012, and it will be awesome.
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Disappointed 69% of America isn’t crazy!
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More like the Phoenix Coats!
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Look out, MLB, some bald guy is writing about you on the internet!
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The Major League Baseball Players Association Union – the most dangerous threat to America today!
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What are Hillary Swank, Michelle Malkin, and Nancy Kerrigan going to do to Mom?
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Wickipedia is the official Wiki of the Wicked Musical
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Obama will murder all athletes because they are against the AZ law…huh??
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Let’s ignore the fact we called ourselves teabaggers first until we found out what it meant!
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Hey, look, someone calling themselves Teabaggers in this very thread!
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dan taylor is too busy huffing paint to be bothered to type in English or even hit the Shift key.
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Wait, Mexico is communist now?
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White people are so oppressed! Not racist
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And now for Resistnet Chat Theater! Today on Resistnet Chat Theater, Resistnet discusses slugs!
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Donald Plumb – not a scientist or engineer, but an avid guy who makes crap up he knows nothing about!
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Where is Kagan’s birth certificate?
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Anyone brown = illegals to SD State Director JEFF
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If we clone them, we’ll outbreed those illegals!
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Gordon wins the Politisink Award for WTF Are You Talking About? for this Wingnut Web entry!
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Gordon has Gay Marriage Tourettes, causing him to have loud outbursts about gay marriage when the subject has nothing to do with gay marriage.
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Trust us, we got more! If Resistnet was to go offline today, we’d have enough Wingnut Web updates to make it through the next three months. But Resistnet won’t be going away, there is too much money to make off of poor suckers who think they are “patriots”! So until next time, Remember the Knights Templar!

Wingnut Web – Facebook YourOpenBook Edition

Facebook’s privacy policy is the stuff of legends. Bad legends. Usually with monsters and stuff. Probably elves, and maybe even a goblin. And thanks to YourOpenBook.org, you can browse what people say on Facebook who haven’t bothered to set their privacy settings to private! You can find out all sorts of personal stuff, even phone numbers of some people. You also get to find out that certain people are crazy racists. And that is where Wingnut Web comes in!

Do you kiss your kid with those lips, Phil Wilson? I guess you do!
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Krystal Steiner’s comedian criticism takes a nasty turn…while Adam Cathers knows the conspiracy goes: Motels…7-11s…Miss USA!
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Brian Drake should write for an alternate universe Jay Leno who is unfunny. Basically, this universe’s Jay Leno.
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Michael Donihe seems like a pretty level-headed guy
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$10 says all Rose Aycock (what an unfortunate last name!) knows about India is that they fix her computer
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Christine Estep – Jewish Confederate Treason in Defense of Slavery Patriot!
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Katherine Mele is an expert of using words that she has no idea of what they mean
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Robin Hogston Hawkins of Politically Incorrect Ning Site.com!
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Get work not jobs the Barbara Welch way!
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Sara Perz just likes Palin because they have the same First name and initials.
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Okay, I’m losing track of the 50ish ladies with grey hair screaming things about socialism they don’t understand…
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Chase Lewis, Skinhead Mall Cop! Rated R
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On meth?
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If you stare in the eyes too long, the crazy will devour your soul
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The comedy patrol is out in force today!
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The KKKomedy patrol is also out in force today!
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I will bet dollars to donuts Ralph Chambers’s wife also has a Facebook page where she is screaming about Socialism Marxism Nazism Obamunism!
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Greg Gatzke – 100 years a loser
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The deadliest catch is the Census Catch-22.
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Yeah, Obama! Why don’t you stop the thousands of people from dying…wait, no one is dying except the 11 guys who died in the original explosion? Obongo strikes again!
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Time to wash your mouth out with soap, young lady!
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I’m not even going to touch this picture/status update…
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Yeah! Democrats are going to lose! WOOOOOOO!!!!
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Yeah! Democrats lost to better Democrats! WOOOOOO!!!! Wait a minute!
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Hey, Mark Coburn, way to break the law with this status update!
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The weird thing is, she’s talking about airline peanuts!
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does n e 1 know where my shift key is?
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Maybe you suck at your job?
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You cannot resist the ultimate power of…my bow tie!
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Quick! No one tell Julie Jensen-Finch that you already are supposed to report garage sale income on your taxes! That way, she’ll get audited!
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Considering it is so easy to use YourOpenBook.org, I am sure we’ll be revisiting this real soon.

D.C. Douglas strikes back!

From the brave man who brought you The Teabagger Boogie: Dick Armey’s Army of Dicks and of course the voice of the GEICO guy brings you a second heaping helping of astroturfed Tea Party tidings (sponsored by FreedomWorks) in the form of a brand new PSA! The video features a couple of people who don’t look like me or talk like me (so naturally I assume I’ll need to see their papers):

The dangers of drinking and operating a telephone handset, don’t do it (unless you value your career enough to never speak up about anything in the public sphere ever, the teabaggers are always watching). And bravo for using so many clearly hypocritical and delightfully self-serving statements from “brown journalism” sites like BigGovernment and FOX News, complete with footnotes and direct quotes.

D.C. Douglas should continue to push the campaign into the far reaches of the Tea Party universe; there are just so many entertaining possibilities for bits like this. Are those anti-tea bag campaign ads I smell? A line of D.C Douglas talking pull-string action figures that sound off on Wingnuts? Perhaps even a ‘Bosum Buddies’ type sitcom featuring two lovable goofs who decide to get jobs at FreedomWorks, infiltrating the nefarious organization by donning expensive suits, cowboy hats, and “Drill, baby, drill” bumper stickers? The possibilities are limitless.

D.C. Douglas, we want to work with YOU to make all these ideas and more a reality.

Wingnut Web – FreeRepublic JINO Court Race War Edition

Pat Buchanan unleashed a racist screed about there being too many Jews on the Supreme Court. Then FreeRepublic.com stated their comments! Let’s listen in…
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Government Workers are the Real Racists!
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The difference between liberals and conservatives is conservatives see nothing wrong with declaring racial superiority, but liberals are the Real Racists!
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Pat Buchanan is a liberal sent by the liberal media to bamboozle Real Conservatives!
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I and my username/avatar combo that is the founder of the KKK vow to continue the Race War in the courts. Also, liberals are the Real Racists!
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We need more of the Good Ones!
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JINO, the heartwarming story of a pregnant high school girl who is nominated to the Supreme Court and blocked by conservatives for being “too lesbian”
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FreeRepublic.com will be back in Liberals are the Real Racists 2: Through the Portal of Time!

Wingnut Web and the Husband Who Invented Everything

Boy, Resistnet.com sure attracts the smartest people in the universe. Just check out what the “grassroots” organization’s typical member is capable of, and you will realized us liberals are doomed. DOOMED!!!

Yep, a 190 IQ, self-taught quantum physics, and universities pay him to build stuff for them.
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FYI, to have a 190 IQ is so rare it is literally about 1/1,000,000,000. Yes, that is 1 in a billion.

But wait!

Helene and her husband have the power to convince anyone anything political because of magnets, and they REFUSE to work for IBM! Refuse!
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Her husband invented everything ever
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Her husband invented oxygen. Her husband invented Robocop. Her husband is the Chuck Norris of inventors.

He also invented it all for free!
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Her husband knows your name and address. Her husband travels around the country and punches readers of TarsTarkas.NET in the nose. In fact, her husband is outside my door right now..
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All geniuses talk to ghosts. Einstein wouldn’t stop talking to Napoleon.
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Mary Patterson also has a 190 IQ husband who knows everything!
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Also, when the Chinese broke into his computer he called NASA to warn them, because the Chinese would really target some random guy and NASA would really care that they did.

As you can see, this level of unstoppable supergenius cannot be countered by us Liberals, so we might as well give up now. This stuff is all true, and there is no way that the only thing invented was the lies her husband told her.

The Teabagger Boogie

From the man who brought you the GEICO Insurance ad announcer voice, who was recently fired from his job for having an opinion on something ridiculous, brings you another Tea Bag-tacular event you won’t want to miss, The Teabagger Boogie (Dick Armey’s Army of Dicks):

This DC Douglas guy is awesome, his new full time job should be being the slick and sane voice of reason on a series of videos that hold the Tea Parties’ feet to the candle and, in particular the people at FreedomWorks and their “community organizers”, make them accountable for the retarded mess they’ve created in this country.